


I Absolutely Love Him (When He Smiles)

by sleepysundays



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Angst, Closure, Comfort/Angst, F/M, Friendship/Love, Implied Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Love Confessions, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Minor Perrie Edwards/Zayn Malik, Moving In Together, Mutual Pining, Past Niall Horan/Liam Payne, Past Relationship(s), Pining, Pining Liam, Sad, Smile, Unrequited Love, niall used to like liam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-07
Updated: 2015-01-07
Packaged: 2018-03-06 13:01:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3135377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleepysundays/pseuds/sleepysundays
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And, God, everything's different now. Because Savannah knows Liam is in love with her fiancè, notices how he stares at Niall when he thinks no one else is looking, how he watches him longingly and how his heart shatters a little more each time Niall tells him "he loves him like a brother."</p>
<p>Because brothers don't kiss and Liam is pretty sure he'd be okay with Niall snogging him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Absolutely Love Him (When He Smiles)

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by that stupid movie "How To Win A Date With Tod Hamilton"
> 
> Title inspired by " Absolutely" by: Nine Days, although lyrics are modified to fit the story.

_"You never realize how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have."_

 

And there she stands looking as happy as ever, tears streaming down her cheeks as he's on one knee, smiling up at her as if she's the only one.

And she's a lucky girl, _really_.  Because she has the one boy who shook up Liam's system, who made him shake with laughter, cry in disbelief, throw his feelings into overdrive.

He's everything Liam has ever wanted, but could never have.

And he's on his third drink as he watches them dance in the small space of the restaurant and Liam almost laughs because he was the one who had introduced them, at this very place actually.

It's all hysterical,  honestly.

Or maybe it's because he's slightly drunk.

And really there's nothing worse than watching the one you love fall in love with someone else.

But Liam is mature, he doesn't cry, doesn't make a scene, doesn't say anything he'll regret in the morning, he's practical and this is reality. 

This is his reality.

Because moments ago he agreed to be Niall's best man, gave him his blessing, and he did it with a smile on his face while he tried to not think of Niall officially belonging to someone else.

And, really, what choice does he have? He can't ignore the love in Niall's eyes when he looks at her, Savannah, and he can't ignore the way she lights up when he kisses her, touches her, tells her he loves her.

But Liam also can't ignore his feelings.

He's at a crossroad here.

So he orders another beer and ignores the bartender who is trying to start up a conversation with him, and he feels slightly bad for making the guy work so hard for his attention, but he's like all the others Liam has dated and he's not so sure he needs that right now.

All he needs is someone to understand what he's going through, but Louis is with Harry, Zayn with Perrie, and now Niall with Savannah. It's quite pathetic really.

Because everyone is celebrating and Liam can barely quirk a genuine smile. So he just nods his head to the beat of the song flitting across the room and takes another sip of his beer, letting it dull his senses, numb the pain.

Liam is so drunk now, debating on whether or not to take the bartender home, when she sits next to him, smiling wearily.

"Hello Liam" she greets him happily, taking a swig of her own beer.

"Isn't it the woman of the hour! Congratulations Savannah" Liam smiles, bumping her knee with his.

"Thank you," she blushes, "He makes me really happy Li. I just. I wanted you to know that I'll take good care of him. I know how much you two mean to eachother."

And, fuck, why does she have to be so nice?  Why does she have to make it so hard for Liam to hate her?

"That's all I've ever wanted" he says instead, rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands.

Savannah smiles and clears her throat, "I've seen the way you look at him, the way he looks at you. May I ask a personal question?"

Confused and with his heart beating rapidly in his chest, Liam nods.

"How long have you loved him?"

And, God, everything's different now. Because Savannah knows Liam is in love with her fiancè, notices how he stares at Niall when he thinks no one else is looking, how he watches him longingly and how his heart shatters a little more each time Niall tells him "he loves him like a brother."

Because brothers don't kiss and Liam is pretty sure he'd be okay with Niall snogging him.

"About four years. Ever since we met at uni."

"Wow. That's certainly a long time" Savannah comments, taking a drink of her beer.

"Yeah. Yeah, it is" Liam remarks, nodding his head slightly as he avoids meeting her eyes.

"So why are you letting him marry me? Why don't you tell him?" She asks, eyeing the dark haired boy.

Liam sighs,"Savannah, Niall loves you. Sure, he loves me, but not in the same way he loves you. You make him happy, why would I ruin it for him?"

"But what about you?"

"I'll be fine."

"I'm so sorry."

"You have no reason to be"

A moment of silence lapses between the two, and although it's slighty uncomfortable neither of them move. A loud gust of laughter rings throughout the restaurant and Liam knows where that sound is coming from- who it belongs to.

Liam smiles slightly to himself and turns towards Savannah, "Do you know Niall has six smiles?"

Savannah quirks up a perfectly sculpted eyebrow, "Six smiles?"

Liam nods and grins to himself,  thinking of Niall, envisioning the blond lad in his head, "Yeah."

"There's one for when he's happy- when he feels as if he's unstoppable.  The one he, uh, gives you."

"Liam-".

"And there's one for when he's upset but doesn't want to show it. He's very caring,  but I think you know that."

"There's one for when he's spending time with his friends. The he gives Harry when he says one of his stupid jokes or Louis when he replies with a sassy remark."

"Liam you don't have to-".

"And there's one for when he's uncomfortable.  He did that one in uni a lot, I assure you."

"Liam, really, stop-."

"There's one for when he's about to cry and he's embarrassed about it. And I don't want to sound sadistic, but that's my favorite one because it shows you that he's actually human, not just an angel."

Now Liam was trying not to cry.

"And this one, this one really takes my breath away, is the one where he's observing love,  the one he shows Louis and Harry. This one shows me how great of person he is Savannah.  He's just so amazing. And you- you're so goddamn lucky because he is a beautiful person and he deserves so much. And even though he loves you, I want you to know that I'll always love him and I'll always be there for him."

And now he's sobbing, as embarrassing as it is, and he can't stop because for once in his life he has admitted his feelings to someone besides himself.

And even if it hurts, he feels so happy because it's as if a massive weight has been lifted off his shoulders. Honestly,  Liam never thought it would feel so good.

"Do you mean all of that?" a distinctly Irish voice says from behind him, and fuck, Liam is going to be sick.

He swivels around in his barstool and meets the beautiful blue eyes of Niall Horan.

"I'll leave you two alone." Savannah whispers, eyeing the two boys.

Liam waits for her to leave before he clears his throat and lets out a croaky, "Suprise."

Niall just sits on the stool next to him, slightly winded, "Why didn't you ever tell me?"

Liam chuckles bitterly and orders a Scotch before answering,  "And say what Niall? Hey man I know you're not gay, but I love you and want you to be my boyfriend? Let's be realistic here."

"You don't have to be mean." Niall replies.

A heavy silence lingers through the air before Liam speaks, "You weren't supposed to hear that, you know. I wasn't supposed to share my fucking feelings with your fianceè."

"Easy on the alcohol. You're a nasty drunk." Niall snaps, grabbing the empty glass from Liam and telling the bartender to cut him off.

"I don't understand how you can say such loving things no more than five minutes ago and now you're sitting here acting like a total prat" Niall says after Liam's grumble over his lack of alcohol.

"Give it a rest Ni" Liam says, rubbing away his oncoming headache.

"I will not. You can't just act like what you just said never happened." Niall argued.

"It's better for all of us, yeah?  Just pretend it never happened. I'm drunk and I'll regret it in the morning." Liam groaned, beginning to get up from his stool.

"Sit the fuck down Liam." Niall hissed, shoving the taller boy back on the stool.

"I don't understand. What the hell do you want from me?" Liam snapped, brown eyes flaring in anger.

"Do you really regret your feelings for me?" Niall asked, his tone much softer.

Liam eyed Niall and sighed, running a hand through his small quiff, "Every day Niall."

Niall closed his eyes and breathed harshly through his nose, "What do you want me to do?"

Liam's eyes snapped towards Niall, "Nothing Niall. You don't have to do anything, I'll get over it."

"You've loved me for four years."

"I'm aware."

Niall opened his eyes, blue meeting brown, "If I marry her- what will happen to you?"

Liam shrugged and drew circles on to the sticky countertop, "I'll be your friend. As always."

"This changes a lot."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"I'm going to marry her." Niall replied after a moment, looking into the brown haired boy's eyes.

Liam nodded, "Okay."

"Because I love her."

"I know you do."

"Liam I just want you to know that, at one time, I think I loved you too. Honestly. I noticed the way your eyes would twinkle when you laughed, the soft curve of your lips, the way your eyes would crinkle a little when you smiled. I was just too much of a coward to admit it and now look where we are." Niall spoke softly, leaning in towards Liam.

"Niall- don't say things you don't mean to make me feel better" Liam replied, frowning slightly.

"I'm not." Niall said truthfully, resting his smaller hand on top of Liam's.

"You really mean it then? You really loved me?"

"Yes. Liam, I really loved you."

Liam smiled through the tears beginning to form in his eyes as he felt Niall stroke his hand.

"Then that's all I really need."


End file.
